Someone on facebook just mentioned she was single because she is crazy.  LOL!  Not all single people would admit to this, and most are not crazy…However what are you?  Are you single and happy?  Good for you!

If you are single I know that you haven’t always been, so what’s happenin in the love department?  It has to be one of eleven things:

1. You just enjoy being alone in that place, no messes to clean besides your own.
2. You don’t like people, too complicated.
3. You don’t want to impose your crazy self upon another human, living soul.
4. You don’t believe in love – the shit is foolish and never works out to good.
5. You haven’t found THE ONE – the MANY, however, you find quite appealing.
6. You are struggling with sexual preference issues.
7. You have lost your mind working and cannot come up for air.
8. Your parents did not set a good example, so you are afraid to become them.
9. Your dogs or cats or fish don’t like people.
10. You are having a bad hair life.
11. You can count on one hand the percentage of tolerance you have for foolishness, besides your own, of course.

Here is a little excerpt from Change Your Man – my fabulous first book – that explains exactly how I took my status from single (or free) to married in a matter of months…

Excerpt from Change Your Man, by Kenya K Stevens

Here I was 20 years old and ready for marriage.  But how was I supposed to make this happen? Not one of my friends had these same objectives.  Everyone seemed content to party, date and focus on career.  I wanted to be a mother and a wife.  I was such an odd ball, but I was determined to find the answers to learning about womanhood, and realized I had to do it on my own.

I began to look beyond the books at the Howard University Library to find the answers I needed.  I began to study Native American culture, African culture and Celtic culture.  I read lots about the ways of ancient women and I began to notice strong analogies to the river and the ocean.  I learned that womanhood is about being moist and watery.  I learned that ancient women held families and nations in tact by being feminine, peace loving and relaxed.  I learned that the role of women is a powerful one that had been utilized over the centuries to grow food, heal people, lead nations and even wage war.

The women I studied also seemed to have special talents in the arts of healing, intuition, tantric sexual healing, and secret knowledge of plants and medicines…none of which had a place in modern society.  The ancient women knew the ‘spiritual’ power of cooking food in a way to nourish her family properly.  She knew to give the children and the men baths of herbs that would change their moods, and ease their minds.  Ancient women learned these arts from strong bonds with other women, and were initiated very young into these ways.  Women learned to use their connection to the Higher Power of the Universe to influence relationships without having to prove points, argue, get angry or become resentful.

So what did all of this have to do with me?  The year was 1994 and I was a sophomore at Howard University.  I did not live in the Bush with secret women who knew the secrets of relating to men.  I had no idea what all of these skills that ancient women possessed could do for me today in modern culture.  My own mother, and even her mother, had been a career woman.  I did not really see what moisture, water and flow had to do with what I had seen my mothers do.  I had no life experience that would inform me as to what it all meant.  The closest connection I could draw is that my grandmother would cook and the foods and the feelings of the holidays would attract the entire family to her house.  Was this a hint to what it means to flow and attract using the watery nature of womanhood?  I needed to get closer to the real meaning of flow.  So I began to visit the river.  I went to the river to connect with the water that I was reading about in the literature regarding ancient womanhood.

I sat near the river for hours at a time.  It was the Potomac River in Washington, DC.  I could look at the Watergate building on my right and the Potomac on my left.  I went to the river because I somehow knew that there I would find the answers I wanted.  I needed to know what womanhood IS.  I needed to get beyond my classical and linear training and connect to something more credible.  I wanted my intuition back.  I wanted my soul to feel open again.  I was attracting men who were just not on the level that I know I deserved, and yet as broken, afraid, and closed off as I was, I knew I deserved more.  I needed to know how to stop attracting freaks, video game fanatics, weed heads, party animals and players.  I wanted to attract my husband.

I went to the river to cleanse the old and invite the new.  I wanted to find flow.  I had no idea what to expect, but I felt a safe distance from total release, yet close enough to a new day.  At the river, I began to shift just enough of my old hardened shell to open to true love.  I stopped dating all together and began doing this River Walk every Friday.  I had no idea that the River Walk would lead me directly to my buried womanhood and my husband all in the same year.  Nor did I have any idea at that time that I would eventually revive enough of myself to write an entire book about the subject.  My River Walks became more elaborate over time, but it was something I did habitually for up to five months prior to meeting Mr. Right, my current husband of 16 years, on a blind date.  Simply fabulous!

Process #1 – River Walk for Womanhood

Purpose:  This is for women who are tired of being lost inside the mask of masculinity that schools, society and the expectations of our parents have cast upon us.  This process will open you to love, self-love and release into the feminine principle.

Items Needed:
•    Five oranges or a small pumpkin
•    A journal
•    A pen
•    A bag to place all items
•    White shirt and skirt or pants (optional)

Exercise:
1.    On a Friday, go to a public or private river.  If you do not have a river nearby, go to running water like a stream.
2.    Walk out to a comfortable place.
3.    Pray to your Creator about your request to unlock the Inner Woman.
4.    Hold your oranges or pumpkin as you visualize what you desire in love.
5.    After you have visualized and prayed, toss the fruit into the river.
6.    Write down in your journal any insight or information that you intuit.
7.    Repeat on as many Fridays as you would like.

River Walk Variation:
1.    Pour sweet honey into the river to sweeten your life.
2.    Carve the top off a pumpkin.
3.    Place a hand written letter about what you desire in love into your pumpkin.
4.    Pour honey into the pumpkin with the letter and place the top onto the pumpkin.
5.    Toss the pumpkin into the river.

Blessings and I hope this helps…somehow?  I share nine full and complete processes like this in my book, each one led me to the next step of obtaining the love I desired.  Please support our writing!  Purchase the book today!  

Kenya K Stevens