I was Twittering a friend who thinks she may be jinxing her relationship. This friend is quite intuitive because she is right! We are talking about energy here and yes, we do at times jinx relationships, money, career, and friendships with old thoughts from the past:
- What if he is sleeping around?
- What if she does not really love me?
- What if I fail?
- What if he is playing me?
- What if the world is coming to an end?
These thoughts seem viable - you buy in. Immediate JINX!
Here are a few suggestions on how to use #GoodJuju to fix the Jinx…
The Jinx begins with you. Give your partner and yourself the satisfaction of knowing that you do in fact trust him or her by designing your language and conversation to demonstrate this. Say things like “I trust you”.
When you do, it may seem fake for the moment, but you are adding unto yourself the ability to attract trustworthy behavior from your friend.
#GoodJuju is all about the self fulfilling prophesy. That which you think about you bring about… Put your good words of trust out there and let the rest be handled by the Universe.
Now some of you are thinking, “No way, I cannot do this”. You will not do this until your friend proves he or she is trustworthy first. Well, you are probably receiving the same stubborn resistance from him or her. The more you hold back trust, the more they will.
If you haven’t been giving trust then you know exactly why you have not been receiving it -And you also know why your partner does untrustworthy things!
Here are the next steps:
Now that you have the trust and love juice flowing using positive language. Take some time to work on yourself. Recall and then list on paper the last few life situations that have given you a reason not to trust another human being. Maybe it is an ex lover or your parents or some other human being who gave you reason not to trust the Universe. Who caused you to believe that the people in your life will not support you?
Now go down the list and ask yourself, what was I learning in each of these scenarios? How did I respond? Did I begin to lose faith and trust in others because of these old scenarios? If so, am I willing to release them and start to trust all over again?
Once you do this introspection, you will find that you have a few more answers than you had before. Maybe now you can forgive these people and see that they were simply showing you your own strength, and providing challenges for you to overcome!
Now that you know where the anti-trust conditioning came from, you can begin the process of opening to truly trusting your partner and everyone in your environment… right?
If you need support with this, and there is actually more to the process, you should look into having a Lacing® with me. Contact JujuMama Love Coaching here.
Here is a great example of how my Lacing® technique has worked for me… My husband is a little cold and internal. So was my Dad. So I realize that I attracted my husband because I fully expected that this is how men are. My Dad did not have bad intentions. I realize that it was not personal, but that did not stop my brain from formulating the idea that men are simply this way – emotionally detached.
So when I meditate to perform the Lacing® in my mind I go beyond forgiveness, I simply decide that I will give my Dad a second chance! Recall that the brain does not know the difference between what you imagine and what actually happened!
Let’s get this trust thing together!
Enjoy your happy new day!
JujuMama
By: Kenya K Stevens
I explain Lacing in depth as well as creating Trust in my book Change Your Man!
You are soooooo speaking directly to me in this blog! This is exactly the scenario that I have been trying to work out. I needed the step by step instructions because I get caught up in the, “well what if he did X, Y, and Z, why am tryin’ to be the nice delicate flower.” I really do know the law of attraction but putting into action in my relationship (past tense) has been a problem (in the past).
I appreciate you!
Stephanie
That’s very true, the self fulfilling prophecy of betrayal.
What if the trust was breached once, how would you approach the relationship in terms of trust?
Adama,
When trust is breached once we know that trust wasn’t breached at all. What happened was that you expected to be betrayed once and now you want to change that expectation. Again, here we take 100% responsibility. Never is some one doing something to us, we are creating with our 88% subconscious memories and the expectation that these memories cause us to hold. We can change the memories and thereby release the old expectations. We can act on the new memories and treat others as well as we want to be treated, including trusting them from the jump – no questions asked! How do we know we can trust those around us, well, the answer is simple – we attract who we are. If we are trustworthy, then we can expect that all the beings out of 6 billion on the planet who show up in our lives are just like us!
Try to take 100% responsibility for what you call ‘the first breach’ and then do these exercises to ensure that you will not experience another creation based on old expectations.
Bliss to you and love that man mommie!
JujuMama
JuJuMama,
Thank You! Last night I got a text saying “Just tired of it already” in response to my “Are we good” text. My heart sunk. I’d spent the day bitching and moaning about everything my long distance Boyfriend was ‘supposedly’ doing wrong and now I was afraid he’d given up on us. I didn’t reply to his text because I was so afraid I’d say something horrid to him out of hurt and anger.
I read your blog and decided to quiet myself and figure out what I was feeling inside that in turn caused me to believe he was being unfaithful/dishonest with me. I incorporated your Lacing Meditation®. Realizing as much as I loved and respected my grandfather I’d tell myself “I’d leave before my man did that to me”. Let me explain. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years but ever since I could remember my grandfather would leave the house after 11pm and go to the veteran’s bar w/ his friends. My grandmother would wait up for him and at 2am he would come in and they would go to bed. Observing that as a child, teen, adult I concluded I would never be that woman who sat at home and WAITED for her husband to come home, I’d rather leave him.
So with my Man I found myself questioning his every move, thinking to myself I’d rather leave him than have him play me. *Shake my head. Sigh.*
I sat and imagined my grandfather sitting w/ my grandmother on the couch as we watched movies or both of them getting dressed up to go out late on a date. I truly sat without any distractions and re imagined my memories (or created new ones) After I put Beyonce’s “Halo” on repeat. Reminding myself how much My Blessing had giving me in regards to trust and love. Three hours after his last text (I still hadn’t responded), I received a “G’Night” text. I responded with “Goodnight Baby”. As if everything was fine.
Tuesday morning, I awoke and sent a Good Morning text. I’m so grateful you mentioned it would probably feel fake because it did. I carried on the rest of the day as if we hadn’t been fussing for two days straight. At first his responses were short, but by lunch time he’d asked me to call him. We talked for an hour laughing about random stuff. He called me by my pet name and I was again on cloud nine. By evening he asked me my schedule because he wanted to see me. (I’m not exaggerating)
It wasn’t and isn’t easy as trials arose throughout the evening and negative thoughts popped into my mind but I’ve been combating it with trust, love and positivity.
Again THANK YOU!!!!
Go go go go go go go go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again Juju Mama nails it all the way in w /one blow!
smiling with pride & affection. & learning too. Love when that happens!
I have a question for you and I hope you can help.
Me and my fiance are going through a lot these days and we’ve gotten to the point that we are separated, but trying to work on our relationship.
Because of other people saying things about the other, neither one of us can trust one another. He truly thinks I cheated on him and because of that I’m beginning to think he’s cheating on me and the trust I thought we once had is gone. How can I show him or re ashore him that he can trust me?
Hey how can I get access? Is this 4 the fab five?
I would like to have access to this blog.. it can really be of great help for me.