Vintage JujuMama – Written in 2007 by Kenya K Stevens, CEO Jujumama LLC
I have been asked by over 50 women to do this ~ Get into the bed with Steve Harvey. So I did it! I had a wonderful time ~ thank you Stevie Baby! Steve is quite a lover!
I LOVE his book on relationships - Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. I feel it is perfect for women who need to understand what ideals men have adopted due to modern conditioning. But of course, like any lover, Steve and I do not agree on everything…
Let us begin with Chapters 1&2 | Concept Three Ps and 3 Accomplishments!
“A man’s love falls only into three categories. I call them ‘The Three P’s of Love – Profess, Provide, and Protect.’ A man may not go shopping with you to buy the new dress for your office party, but a real man will escort you to the party and hold your hand, and proudly introduce you all around the party as his lady (Profess); he may not cuddle you and sit by the bed holding your hand while you’re sick, but a real man who loves you will make sure the prescription is filled, heat up a can of soup, and make sure everybody is in position until you are better (provide); and he many not willingly change diapers, wash the dishes, or rub your feet after a hot bath, but a real man who loves you sure will walk through a mountain and on water before he’d let someone bring any hurt or harm to you (Protect). This you can believe”
Beautifully written Stevie Baby. So, in summary, chapters one and two are about the differences between men and women. The ways that men love and the ways that women love are just completely different. We are a different species. Steve and I agree here.
Review of Chapters Three Acomplisments
In many articles on this blog, I speak on Yin and Yang or masculine and feminine energy. Men bringing the Yang means women can more freely bring the Yin and vice versa. Let us get right to the essence of what a Masculine Man is…
Steve says, in Chapter One, that “there are three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he is truly fulfilling his destiny as a man. He must know
#1 who he is (obtain a title)
#2 what he does (how he gets his title)
#3 how much he makes (he must be rewarded for his effort financially)
So essentially Steve has contextualized manhood in terms of modern social structures. Not a bad idea! Very practical. You would probably agree with Steve. Steve notes that, without these three things in tact, men are not ready for a relationship with a woman! So this is HUGE!
I could not agree more that modern men feel they must have these three attributes in place in order to love a woman. And… I would add dimension.
#1 Who He Is – I believe men must know who they are on a core level. This goes beyond career. A Man must know who he is. He is essentially, and at his core, Peace itself. Man, like woman, is spirit based, infinite potential, powerful beyond measure. He is able to transcend any emotion. He is able to choose peace when needed. He is able to center himself at will. Once a man knows THESE THINGS about himself, he is a man! This goes WAY beyond career.
There was a time, not long ago, when men were taken to the forest to learn these lessons with the onset of Puberty. (BTW, this is where our modern idea of Boy Scouting comes from). Men were challenged with fear during initiation. They had to see that they could overcome any obstacle from a state of peace, stay above the emotions. They were taught proper breathing, diet, and thoughts to elicit this peace from within. From this place of peace, ANY man can achieve ANY material or spiritual objective.
Also, a man must know his sacred relationship to women. He must know he is a healer of women. His healing love is transferred during the act of loving women. He can influence women to receive him and enact upon her as the sun enacts upon the plants here on the planet Earth. Understanding his power to effect women with his energy and HOW to effect women with his energy makes him a man. A man can TAME or relax a stressed out woman and settle her energy just by being leadership oriented, staying above her emotions and not taking her emotions personally! Yummy! Carl talks about these skills in his first book Tame Your Women.
What I am saying is that Who He Is is not solely tied to his position or station in life (career). Who He Is is a metaphysical concept. No problem, right Steve?
#2 What He Does - now this one is tricky. A man’s career may not define him. A man may not be in the career that he loves, but that does not mean he does not know what he does. A real man (which is all the men) understands that what he does is an offshoot of who he is, not vice versa. What a man does, does not “give him a title” who he is, gives him a title. It looks like this:
I am both masculine and feminine – I am man. I have great access to the masculine principle as my body is masculine in nature. I am peace itself, therefore what I do is… Co-Create what I intend to manifest with my partner/s. I am the SUN!
A man who has actualized his YANG force does what is simple. He lives in a state of stable peace and action oriented determination, moving from one challenge to the next with full cognition that he can effect change at any given moment. In relation to women, what he does is enact his healing/energizing masculine energy to co-create with her; to produce ANY desired end result.
That is what a man does. From this level of atunement, any man can create anything in harmonious partnership with women.
Does that make sense?
What I am saying is that Who He Is can not be solely defined by his career. Who He Is is defined by his state of consciousness. But Steve and I, we jive on that. We are lovers in the deepest sense of the word – me and Steve! He couldn’t write all of that because he is writing for the masses, but we have discussed these deep concepts in our pillow talk. LOL!
#3 How much He Makes | [Acknowledgment For What He Does] – More powerful than the drive for food, is the drive for acknowledgment. This goes for men and women. Men, in particular, have a powerful drive for success. They want to be perceived by the world as successful in what they do. This can be obtained through a career and/or outside of a career. This can be obtained through a relationship with a woman. When women acknowledge men, men feel successful. With this feeling and energy of success, he can create more success. It begins with his relationship to MOM and then his LOVERS.
So it is not that a man has to be good at “What He Does” – in terms of his career – before he can settle down with a woman. No way! Men show love through action – so he can easily be the masculine to her feminine and have that be “what he does” well – which will in turn energize her enough to support him and use her womb magic to support him as he grows his career… Men and women together can create success!
Overall – I believe chapter one is well done, Steve!
I just want women to remember that everything she is looking for is not based on materialism. I LOVE money too! But we can build money into our lives with a man. No problem, mon! If I were to have kicked my husband to the curb because he had not defined his career, I would not be enjoying his our six figured income right now. We worked on building wealth together.
It is similar to what Steve said in the first chapter, he told a story about a time when he was flat broke. But it was a woman who suggested he do comedy. She believed in him. Her belief alone was enough to get him motivated to do his first gigs.
In like manner, when my husband was out of a job back in my 20′s I could have said, “oh, let me leave him, he has no title, no job, and no income. He is not ready to be my partner.” But I did not, why? Well, he had the underlying structure needed to produce greatness! He knew #1 Who He Is - A God walking the planet – peaceful in the face of any adversity – #2 – What He Does – he enacts his powerful Male energy in life and indeed onto me, planting me with the seeds he wants to manifest and #3 – How Much he Makes – He has always realized that he has infinite potential to make money, and I believe in him. But more than money. He can make heaven on Earth through our union when he utilizes his powerful masculine force to enact my feminine in love and truth.
So maybe your current man is not placed in the career he loves, or maybe he does not have a title or the income he desires, but if core wisdom is in place, you can work with him. I did not say ‘help’ him. Working with a man looks like being supportive of him verbally, spiritually, sensually and mentally. Believing in his dreams and allowing his dreams to take root in your figurative womb.
You attracted this man to you, so he is a reflection.
We only attract who and what we are. Steve wants all women to expect more, and with this, I agree. But that takes a shift in consciousness – which he does not outline in the book instead suggesting women drop men who don’t fit the mode which is utterly ineffective. We can’t toss out our men looking for one with more success without first finding within us the point of attraction that landed us our current relationship – it won’t work – we’ll simply attract the same man in a different skin!
Once we find the similarities, and compassion, we work from that point in tolerance and integrity, to move beyond old expectations. When we do that, the men we are with will automatically follow suit, or if they cannot, they will dissipate into the vapor from which they came and be immediately replaced by that which matches our energetic make up.
These esoteric concepts may be a bit much for Steve to introduce in a book crafted for Western Minds. But he knew I’d come along to love him in this way. LOL! You should see the two of us together – heaven, I tell you, pure heaven.
We only attract what the brain conceives and believes.
So getting rid of a man who you’ve discovered doesn’t have Steve’s three P’s is not going to remove the quandary of our point of attraction. Once that non-chivalrous, deadbeat is gone, we will attract another. Especially if we read the chapter in the wrong way. Sure, all women deserve this type of man, but all women are not manifesting these three P’s from their man. Steve doesn’t give us the secret, Law of Attraction, trick to making this so in our relationships. I give it all over this blog and in my first book, Change Your Man!
And that is OK! That is why he has his JujuMama. I love you Stevie!
I am here to tell you that if you want your man to Provide, Profess and Protect you, you have to believe that this is what a man IS – and indeed what men are. You have to go back to childhood, release the men who hurt you, go back to teen life, release the men who impressed you the wrong way, go back and get the lesson – the moral to your story – and shift the past to change the future. You have to look at your past from a different vantage point in order to conjure a new point of attraction. In this way, you can attract whatever you want from your current man, or your future man! I can help with my lacing process… call me!
Yes You Can!
Steve suggests that if a man is not doing these things, he just does not love you. I believe differently. If a man is not doing these things, this is, unfortunately, not what you EXPECT in a man! You never have had the expectation that a man could or would do these things and so your man will not and cannot, your future man will not and cannot. This will change when you shift your beliefs about men ~ shift your point of attraction.
Now as a side note, you all know what I think of Steve Harvey’s 90 day rule… boooooooooo – pussy is not a prize. If a woman wants to make love to a man, she should do so so that she can receive his lusciousness and enjoy it, not to hold pussy ransom in exchange for his love… it rarely works.
Steve has read my book, Change Your Man. In fact, I am slated to be on his show very soon! We will not debate, we will co-create!
Bliss and Light
Kenya K Stevens