OK – So what is the deal people? Can someone help me understand when we are going to get rid of this dated concept of manipulation. I mean, this one went out with corsets (well, corsets are sexy, except when they break your ribs). Let’s see, this one went out with ceramic shingles (well, those are sort of elegant). OK fine, this one went out with the concept of BLAME. Nothing pretty about blaming someone else for any part of your life right?
Same senselessness in choosing to believe in another dying paradigm – Manipulation. SO we’re gonna look at this because we have to. Men and women alike are afraid to be called a manipulator. Yet, we want to master the Law of Attraction, we want to become Creators of our lives. But, the two concepts do not fit together ~ manifestation and manipulation. Blame is the essence of manipulation. If someone is “manipulating” another or (heaven forbid) manipulating you, then you do not believe that you create your life. You in fact believe in the concept of blame… right?
No one is doing anything to us. We are creating everything for ourselves. AND, when we ladies put on that feminine energy and shine it into the world, we are not ‘doing anything’ to anyone, we are simply using our natural talent to manifest our desires quickly and easily! Feminine magnetism is MAGICAL!
How can we think that working magic in our lives to create what we desire can be a form of manipulation? Come now.
This week alone I have talked to over a dozen women who are telling me that they feel badly using the sweet techniques that I am teaching, like Yes Honey, because they feel like they are manipulating their men. Wow! So the anger, the fighting, the slashing of tires, the all night talks, these are not manipulative at all, right? You are not doing that to get what you want – you’re angry because – HELL – you’re angry! LOL! But the sweetness, the sweet words, the kindness, the sex appeal and compliments to your man, to ALL men; using these “tactics” are manipulative? Hmmmmm.
Let’s examine this, I think it should be explored in fullness.
To begin at the beginning, we are all choosing our lives. There are no victims and no villains because we are making conscious and unconscious choices in every millisecond of every day on this Planet. Thus, when something pops into our lives that we do not care for, we can not blame the thing, we have to ask ourselves, how did we create this thing? Right?
It follows, then, that if we show up into a man’s life using whatever tactics we use to converse and convene with this human being, the fact of the matter is that he attracted us for a reason. If we show up and we have anger management issues and he is complaining that he always get the ‘crazy women’ – who can he blame for it? Shall he blame you, or should he try to find the crazy in him that attracts the craziest specimens of the female gender?
We all know the answer to this one, especially if we are living in the new (yet ancient) consciousness of evolution.
So, in like manner, if a man, let’s say he is a fine and delicious man, the type of man who just walks in and you melt. I mean fabulous, and appealing, and glowing, and stunning – all the cookies with the milk too. All the power and the passion too! All of that! Let’s us say YOU have attracted him…. You are learning to use your feminine Magic! Get what you want, girl! YES! You are a secure and confident DIVA!
You show that loving hunk of bliss some good, sweet, decorum; you find it so wonderful to use this new magic that you test drive it on this man as though you are driving a Maserati. And the thing is running smooth and you are liking the feel and the results are creamy, and he is being the freakin MAN due to your easing back and being the WOMAN! He is wrapped around the very magnetic pinkie finger… Happily.
Are you manipulating him?
How is this a form of manipulation? Sure, you are internally thinking about how to say things in such a way that you do not blow up his naturally HOT fire. But does that mean you are trying to control him? Sure you are thinking about how to receive more, how to appreciate men more, how to trust him, how to appear and actually BE more easy going, luscious, and relaxed – does this mean that you are scheming to rule his life, manipulate him for your gain? And what of it?
What if you are scheming to get this man wrapped around your pinkie toe? Is THAT manipulation?
Let’s think about this ladies. Remove your Western thinking cap a moment. Why wouldn’t I want ALL men wrapped around my pinkie toe? Why is that degrading? If I were to bring a million dollars cash into this room right now and say, OK, the way to get this million into your bank account is to be sweet to it, be receptive, be open to allowing it to lead you, be open to appreciating this money – do these things and it will be yours. These judges will evaluate you.
I bet like hell that you will be the first one trying to Manifest that money with your charms. And you would have no qualms about it. The money wouldn’t care. But guess what? Neither will the man. He will not be upset at you for being a DIVA! No more upset than he would be if you were walking around with a constant attitude. Why is having an attitude not seen as manipulation, it is the exact same thing as being sweet to get what you want, except you’re being funky to get what you want?
I am confused and utterly befuddled. Hep me, Bliss Babies. Please… I need it.
Please leave your comments.
It’s JujuMama
I just love your perspective!! I'm totally integrating this and sharing with my best girlfriend too… you're so amazing Kendra, thanks for being here and being you!!
Duh, Kenya, not Kendra (adorable little girl I used to babysit).. sorry about that!
Semantics….a question of correct usage of a word? Manipulation. Don't we all manipulate? You can attach positive or negative attributes to the word, but the end result is the same. We got what we wanted by way of exercising our creative forces. To be seduced by physical or mental beauty is the nature of life, and without it we would not exist.
thank you for this interesting post…I can relate, because I am torn with this whole notion of manipulation..it was definitely food for thought…I do get that how we tend to associate manipuation with "bad girl" behaviour or like the original "Little Red Riding Hood" story that was about using stories to almost like keep women in check…the original story…like chastising women to be simple and not smart and cunning…not to venture out into the world, because the wolf is going to get you…that type of element to me is entrenched into the culture and that is the subliminal that we see all of the time with media…that somehow being feminine and sexxy and proactive about what you want is bad girl and the good girl is the passive one…and there is this clear negative connotation to the word "manipulative" because when people are describe that way it usually isn't to compliment.
but aren't children the original manipulators and do we say that it is bad…for example for an infant to cry cause they know that the net result is that mommy will come to nurseor as a child/young person explores and test and push to create or figure out how to get what they want…but some how in our puberty there is the transition where manipulation becomes bad…
We as women need not be afraid of our Oshun capabilities..this is how we heal and this is how children are born… if one thinks that they are manipulating their mate it is only because you choose to do so… sweet water heals and honey is good on the tongue,, keep those sweet waters flowing XUXU Gyal!!
…….a negative connotation based on guilt and fear to keep especially women in check. …great comment I think of aMuse too. Kenya, I love how you evaluate the concepts of manipulating and creating. You are right! Such and eye-opener. I was more and more letting go of guilt. Slowly. Because I was feeling it was limiting me and had no real cause. But now I can perfectly articulate for myself WHY guilt is part of my past. not of my present nor my future.
In my humble opinion I do believe that people get a bit brainwashed in society about what they want, what they think they want, what they need and what they think they need. Even more important to decide for yourself to manifest your very own desires as you put it Kenya. Again, very enlightening. Thank you.
Thanks for writing this, I'm seeing this topic show up more and more in my life. I think I should try using my femininity to get what I want. When masculine energy is used by men it is usually not seen as manipulation, but just being a MAN. So maybe I should just be a WOMAN.
Kitty Katana~
Fantastic post again Kenya! Very clear, very true. We think sweetness is more manipulative than anger because when we're angry we think we can't help it, it 'just happens'. And when we are calm collected and sweet, we are choosing our reaction. So anger is unconscious and comes from past wounds and sweetness is conscious and in the now. You are right: choosing sweetness is better every time if we know how! lol!
I can say from some recent experience that being sweet and nice in order to get the results I want from the men in my life works wonders….and it feels good to do it. Isn't that what it is all about…FEELING GOOD!
I will out myself and say used to use disapproval and anger to get what I wanted, and that did not feel good to anyone.
Its all about what you are putting out there…like energy attracts like energy…doing it on purpose is where it is at…I mean you get what you put out there either way…might as well make it enjoyable for everyone!
Rock On!
Leah
A clear mind cannot be manipulated.
I think that that realizing the TRUE essence of Feminine receptive energy is for a woman to tap into her own sweet receptivity WITHOUT concern for what (if anything) it will bring to her. To do so as part of a focused intent on what it is that she desires, is still a form of manipulation. To do so with the intent of tuning herself into Goddess energy, will bring all that she ever wanted and more. For a woman to "use her charms to get…" is just another less obvious way for a woman to inadvertently wander over the line from primary YIN into passive/aggressive Yang energy.
I think the most enjoyable prospect for any individual male or female is to assist the other in growth and freedoms. If you loved someone and found they were uncontrollably focused on anything to the point of lack of personal strength and personal decision making you would try to free them whether is be a governing body, a drug or religion. I would try to free them. I hope I would. But that's what I want for myself. Those are the people I really want around me. I hope.
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About to go back and listen to the Yes, Honey Audio now. As I am sitting here going through old posts. I realize more and more that my feminine energy is on the rise. I was one of those who felt like this sweet nicey stuff was manipulation. Now, I feel like it is the way to be.
Whether coated with the harsh paint of the word manipulation or not. I am not ashamed of creating my life as I want to live it. I am ashamed of the life that I have been living up until lately. A life that was full of hurt, pain and disgust plus more.
I would rather be honey, than vinegar, if you know what I'm sayin.