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Monthly Archives: June 2009

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sexy-couple-happy1

So ladies.  Let’s talk.  Whats all this I hear about low libido women?  When I walk on the streets certain people know who I am and maybe they read my blog.  They tell me that I am a brave woman for having an open relationship.  But they ask me one question or make one simple statement: “I don’t like sex that much.  I don’t even feel like having sex with the one man I have”.  OK?

What’s up with that?

For some, this is a statement of validation.  I am female, I don’t like sex.  A credo of sorts that is simply old news in my book.  For others this is a statement of defeat.  I just don’t get into that… But for me – I am hearing something deeper in the voices of women everywhere who have come to me with this situation – low libido…

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divorce-not-between-husband-and-wife-wallpaper-50168-56414

Many believe that Jujumama goes hard on the women.  Some believe I go hard on the guys.  Lesbians think I am hetero centered and I have not heard from any gay men, so I don’t know… but I am in the center of all of that so please get it straight.  I go hard on Western Cultural relationships.  They do not work – for the most part… and stats prove it.  A 60% divorce rate – for the most part.  Yes?

divorce

Anywhoooo.  I have to crack open another double standard tonight. My husband is so wise, he really put all of this into perspective for me… so now I can talk about what he taught me. Western culture is male based and so this one is sort of ‘to be expected’.  When I say this, I mean we live in a lovely patriarchal culture where male power is seen as the most relevant form of power… ie talking, action, leadership, negotiation, sacrifice, are seen as the only form of ‘powerful’.  But because of this,  men get the short end of the stick in many matters of the heart. For instance…

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couple-young-black

So I have loads of people asking me this question.  I mean the emails are off the hook! Everyone wants to know how they can tell if their own relationship is ready to open.  An open relationship is one in which both partners are free to have outside partners on an intimate and emotional level.

Here is a little checklist of attributes that I would say serve as prerequisites for this type of love… open love.  Now mind you, some relationships will never be ready and that too is OK.  This is not for everyone, but what is?  LOL!  And we highly suggest you secure Love Coaching is you want to walk this path with your partner…

OK – so here is the list.  Whether you are in a marriage or a committed relationship or single, the list still applies…

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orgasm

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
Anais Nin

So I have a bone to pick with men.  This has been on my heart for a moment. Men want happy, satisfied, whole, pleasable women, correct?  This blog is all about how women can treat men better, love and respect men more – find love again in the arms of men… But there is something more to it.

There is something men must do in order to attract the orgasmic woman he desires, the type of woman who relaxes and allow a man’s leadership… Here it is:  Men must accept women for who and what we are. We are not men.  We are woman – or maybe women who have been trained to be men.  But when we learn to become women again, we will desire to share our love with the world.  A woman’s love is uncontainable, uncontrollable, and free like the breeze…  That means, you can enjoy it but you cannot own it…

Yes.  I said it.

We will submit and surrender, honor and respect you, but never will you be able to contain our love for just yourself.  Not any more…

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gold-digger

My husband and I have been having this debate for a few days.  It isn’t really a debate so much as a discussion about life and love… My husband has cared for me for over 13 years, meaning I have never had a “real” job; he bank rolled me as I built JujuMama LLC and wrote my first book, Change Your Man.  I think that he feels proud of his accomplishments.  I don’t get the impression that he feels used by me… You know?  There has been a synergistic partnership… and it feels luscious.  I think any man feels good to care for a woman the way he has for me.

What do you think people?  When a woman desires the partnership of a man – financially, especially – is she a gold Digger?  What if she seeks only men who have the means to help her with her endeavors?  Does that make her a gold digger?

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