So ladies.  Let’s talk.  Whats all this I hear about low libido women?  When I walk on the streets certain people know who I am and maybe they read my blog.  They tell me that I am a brave woman for having an open relationship.  But they ask me one question or make one simple statement: “I don’t like sex that much.  I don’t even feel like having sex with the one man I have”.  OK?

What’s up with that?

For some, this is a statement of validation.  I am female, I don’t like sex.  A credo of sorts that is simply old news in my book.  For others this is a statement of defeat.  I just don’t get into that… But for me – I am hearing something deeper in the voices of women everywhere who have come to me with this situation – low libido…

In my opinion libido is a measure of vitality. If one has high desire for life, passion for life, high energy, then one has a healthy libido.  And I am not saying this just because I have a healthy libido.  Don’t get me wrong, for years I wanted lots of sex, but it wasn’t because I was healthy, it was because I was craving male attention in unhealthy ways.  My high school years were spent this way.  As was the first five or six years of my marriage.  I didn’t want sacred, spiritual, sensual, bliss, I wanted a man to like my body, like the feelings I gave him, like ME!

Once I switched and learned the real purpose, power and meaning of sensual bliss, my approach changed and I was finally not craving intimacy due to feeling a lack of male energy.  (Many women who grow up without a father or with a father who was less than affectionate have this issue – it’s OK – call me – lets work that out!)

So once I switched, sensual bliss was not a misfitted craving, but more a desire to connect, not even to a man, but to God itself.  Do you feel me?  Ummmoist, I get all giddy just thinking about the next time I can go to heaven in the arms of a man… LOL!

Anyway.

I think that there are five reasons as to the rampant low libido rally in women.

First, I believe in the Universal Law of Use.  Women are simply not acclimated to using their sensual energy. Like anything else, if we have a muscle, for instance, that we do not use, it withers and erodes from the inside.  Women have not been able to become fully conscious of their sensual selves at this point in history.  Education is lacking, but scare tactics are not.  Women learn about the fact that they must not get pregnant or have sex prior to marriage.  Women learn that they are at risk, they may contract illnesses if they have sex.  So guilt sets in and the sexual function is shut down.  It is not used.  Thus, it erodes from the inside.  And it registered as low libido when it is something far more specific going on…

Second, women are not taught to understand that sensual energy is creative force. Often women become obese, for instance, when the obesity is stemming from built up and unused CHI!  Here is what I mean.  And this ties into the law of use… Women have shut down the sensual function due to guilt so it erodes.  As it erodes, there is CHI going to waste.  All the CHI that would normally be used to make love and while doing so, create the lives we desire.  (We create life during sex by visualizing the end results we crave.)  If this CHI were doing what it was supposed to do, women might not have issues with weight.  The weight, I feel, is a metaphysical indicator of stagnate CHI!  Some of the CHI is sexual CHI built up over the course of a lifetime…

Third, I feel that women have not been taught to adore their ability to have babies. Women, from an early age, desire children.  However, this society demands that women be men and go to college, get a job, create a career, put child rearing aside. (See my video Why I Say No for more on this) Unfortunately, the best years for child bearing are ages 14 – 24.  No modern women in her right mind would feel that this age is appropriate, but that is not due to natural thought, that is due to conditioned thought.  So women want to have children, but must shut off the function.  This leads to low libido simply based on deep depression about not being READY or ABLE to have children when desired.  This can also register as obesity…

Fourth,  even married women who have sex as an option daily do not get into the energy as much as we should.  Why?  Well, it is the same reason men become impotent.  Women, in my humble opinion, get just as bored with sex with the same man for years and years as men do. However, due to a modern viewpoint that most have accepted, (women are monogamous by nature) we ignore this boredom and try new things like making love at a hotel with our men, adding spice with toys and negligees, so forth.  These things work for the moment, but they do not satisfy the deep desire to have more healers, more love, and more variety.  This is a little known and little talked about reality.  Just ask any married woman, if she is able to tell you the truth, she will.  If not, she is simply trying to hush the natural desire to experience bliss on a regular basis… bottom line.  I would say that this is true for 60% or more married women.  What do you think?  Either way, this unfulfilled longing leads to low libido.  Why?  Because there is a sub-conscious depression happening at a deep state that is being suppressed.  Women, instead, take uppers and Valium to calm the urges… Or read romance novels that only serve to heighten the desire yet the desire is usually unfulfilled.

Finally, I believe that women have low libido due to a sense of self that is a bit warped. This ties into the prior issues with a deep desire for more love.  Women think that good sex is only for those with a 14 year old boy body, or a blond white woman, or a porn star.  Some women believe that they are simply not sexy enough to have good sexual energy with a man.  This is a shame because women of all shapes, sizes and hair color are desirable to men!  Men LOVE women.  However, if a woman is constantly complaining of her weight, lacking confidence in herself and insisting that she is not beautiful enough, she will attract more and more experience that validate her belief.  Then, she will fall into a depression about her lack of sex appeal.  When all the while all she had to do was shift here energy and know that she is desirable.  This cannot come from an outside source, it has to come from within.

As an attachment to the fifth reason, I also believe that women do not understand sexual energy. Most women feel like they are giving some arse to a man when in actuality, we are receiving some arse from a man. (click for an article on this topic) This is a very important concept.  Women, in general, are angry at men, so why would we want to give him some?  No way.  But we lose the anger and we open sensually and realize that a man is giving something to us during sex!  Sure he receives something vicariously through our pleasure, but he is the giver in that operation!  We have to get this!  Women have to become receivers during sex and in life generally.  If we learn to receive, we would also not be so tired all of the time.  We are too busy giving or thinking of ourselves as givers, when we are actually receptors.  We are on the planet to receive.  Let the man give, it is what he is on Earth to do!  And, he loves to give you pleasure!  Trust me!

So for these 5.5 reasons, I think women have low libido.  In all actuality, women can easily turn this around.  In fact, I will be doing some workshops on femininity beginning in August to address some of these and provide fun solutions!  However, there is one more thing.  I think I will call this the Virgin Mary Syndrome. Some women just feel it’s sorta cute to have low libido, they feel, maybe, that they are somehow pious or pure when they proclaim it!  “oh I don’t really like all that sex stuff”.  Its almost as if they are stating that they don’t do drugs or that they do not drink alcohol.  What they may not realize is that sexual energy is the doorway to spiritual enlightenment, one of the doorways at least.  I have seen this sort of thing in many spiritual communities, especially Christian and Islamic based faiths.  It is really a bit senseless, if you think about it.

Sex creates life. So how could this be an ungodly act?  Sexual energy can create anything, and when it is used to forward one’s spiritual growth and development, it can be heaven on Earth!  So don’t give me that low libido excuse. Lets move past the fear into an actualization of femininity like the world has never seen!

You know I got your back!

It’s Jujumama xoxoxox

I love you