Can You Handle the Truth?

Your man comes to you and tells you he met somebody on his business trip and he’s thinking about dating her. He goes on to reveal his conversation with her during his layover to New York and was surprised by how much they had in common. He wanted to reveal this to you because he loves and respects you and is eternally devoted to you and your family together. Although he’s not asking for your permission to pursue her, he’d really like for you to give your blessing.

“Oh, hell naw!!”, you’re thinking, but with a smile you lovingly reply, “Baby thank you for having the confidence in me and our relationship to share. Can I think about it and get back to you?”

In an ideal world of relationships this is how dialogue between men and women would flow in the event one or the other discovers they would like to expand the relationship to becoming an open one. However, this world is far from perfect! Many of us have not received the memo or straight out refuse to comply with the paradigm shift.

Relationships and the way we participate in them are being challenged. There is a revolution happening as a result of the evolution of human consciousness and development. People are starting to understand that relationships defined within the philosophy of property and ownership are out dated and oppressive!

Many of us currently exist in this expiring paradigm demanding our partners be honest, loving, and loyal, but the restrictions we put on them make those traits, sometimes, impossible to live up to.

If your man actually came to you with his truth of wanting to date and/or have sex with another woman, or if it’s your woman who wants this kind of freedom, many of you would lose your damn minds! You’d be livid that he or she had the audacity to:

1. Be checking for another lover…

2. Come and ask you about it…

3.  Claim that he or she loves you…

Do you see why you just made those three traits (honest, loving, and loyal) so hard to live up to?

You’re mad your partner is attracted to another woman, which means you feel this action, a very natural and human one, makes him or her disloyal. But, there are so many other beautiful people out there besides you, how can your partner not notice?  Why should they pretend not to?

You’re mad that your partner is asking when he’s only being honest. He could’ve kept it to himself and decided to cheat; then he would’ve been disloyal (I’m just sayin’).

You’re trying to figure out how she could possibly love you when she wants to spend time with someone else. Well, this one is all about beliefs and values and I believe there is enough love to go around, why direct all your love at just one person. It’s kinda selfish, don’t you think?

I’m not trying to argue the point that monogamous relationships shouldn’t exist because I do know there are some people out there who feel they are naturally monogamous beings, men and women. What I am saying, however, is to broaden your scope, expand your perspective. Then, ask yourself if you can handle the truth.

Read more about the failure of monogamy here.  And do check this article on the book, Sex At Dawn… it’s amazing what we haven’t learned about ourselves as sensual beings, human beings.

I welcome your thoughts…

Keniece Ford

Sharing is Caring


  1. Jeanine

    I admit I would be the first to say aw hell naw. I do think that there is a way to work out the natural attractions that humans may feel to other humans. There should be no condemnation surrounding happiness of any kind.

  2. Anasha Phoenix

    Keniece, you make good points. We have our “ideas” of how relationships “should” be and we forget to define our relationships for ourselves.

    I kind of think I could handle the truth. Though, I won’t know until it hits me. Looking at my constant study of Progressive Love, I may be the one doing the asking. :)

  3. Pingback: Aren’t Open Relationships All About Sex? | Jujumama's Love Academy

  4. Denise Salone

    My man and I are in the Lifestyle. We do have sex with others, but we are both present when it’s happening. After reading the article, I am not sure what my response would be if he said that to me. On the other hand, I’m not sure he would agree if I asked him. I think we would both be afraid of the intimacy that would would develop with these other people. We will see what develops. We do have an open relationship of sorts..This would be taking it to the next level..Hmmm

  5. Kendra

    I want a polyamorous marriage so bad.
    Ive found myself so lonely because my husband cant fulfil all of my needs and ive met someone who can in the areas hes lacking. But my husband is so close minded and traditional that he would rather us both stay in an unhappy marriage.

Leave a Comment