Ok. It should be clear to you that my goal for this article is to make your refrigerator into a whiteboard for all of my articles. How else is your man going to read this unless he is fishing for a late night snack and happens upon these strategically placed pearls of wisdom?
Here I offer 8 Pearls of Wisdom for your Relationship. These are a DEFINITE MUST for CUT AND POST. This is my interpretation of Progressive Love – Eight laws that will save your relationship time and time again…
Eight Tenets of The Progressive Love Movement | H-Soul Watson
1. Our mates are our mirrors.
Yes, we’ve mentioned this before haven’t we? This is one of those truisms that is easy to see when you are feeling great about your mate – but suddenly becomes obtuse when you think your mate is a lower life form sent to make your life a living hell. Like it or not- what you love and/or hate in your mate is what you love and/or hate in yourself. Search deeply and sincerely enough and you’ll find this to be true.
2. There are no victims or villains.
Ohhhh, if you could only really convince yourself and act accordingly on this truth your marriages and relationships would be transformed overnight! How many times have you stormed out of the house, slammed the phone on your mate or even yelled complaints to your mate as if they were Dick Dastardly incarnate? How many times in your thoughts have you seen your mate (or especially your ex’s) as the villain and you as a victim of their behavior? So many people fall into this trap and ruin their relationships because the fail to see the truth of this statement. You choose this path and all that goes with it- so how can you be a victim of someone else?
3. No shame and no blame.
Shame & blame comes in two distinct but connected forms. The shame & blame that we feel for our thoughts and actions stemming from an early experience in our lives and the then there’s the shame & blame we seek to make others feel and accept because we believe they affronted our personal codes of conduct. The latter is just an extension of the former, which is to say at the core of us wanting others to feel shame, and blaming them for our hurt, there lies the hidden injury of our own unresolved shame and blaming ourselves for being vulnerable. Vulnerability is of course the prerequisite for the experiencing of Love, so blaming yourself for opening up to the possibilities of love or feeling ashamed of an action that you may have taken in your quest for growth is self-defeating. Shame and blame are useless and do more harm than many of us ever suspect.
4. No cop-outs. No drop-outs.
While Aretha Franklin bellowed for R.E.S.P.E.C.T and rightfully so, I would love for her to do a sequel to that number entitled C.O.M.M.I.T.E.M.E.N.T. If you asked anyone who has experienced a high level of success from a pro athlete to a world leader the one element that they will tell you that was crucial to there success was that they never allowed themselves to entertain the idea of failure. Sure we all have those moments when relationship situations invoke that creeping self-doubt and we fear experiencing pain. However, it’s imperative to quickly eradicate those thoughts and put your eyes back on the prize. No cop-outs, No drop-outs means just that. No excuses for failure in your relationships will do. You must take full responsibility for the quality and condition of your relationship and resolve to remain committed to the course. Through your commitment to remaining in the game your success is therefore insured.
5. The purpose is growth
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The purpose of being in a relationship comes down to one simple cosmic principle, growth. You are here on this earth to grow and this is an important principle to remember because it answers the oft arriving question “Why do I have to go through this?!!” Just as a seed has to push through soil and dung to become a flower and see the sun, you also must push through the adversity in your relationships in order to blossom and experience love. Where there is no struggle there is no progress/growth. Challenges present in your relationship are divinely given by the Universe to push you to ever-increasing levels of your potential. Imagine wanting to be an all-star athlete without lifting weights or training? Seems silly doesn’t it? But how many of you get mired in feeling upset, angry or sorry for yourself because you are going through relationship training? Where there is no growth, stagnation and death is near.
6. The benefit is Love.
Ok, building on the previous principle- if the purpose of relationships is growth, what is the benefit of growing? That of course is LOVE. We are all seeking more love in the best ways that we know how. The purpose of you committing to be in a relationship is growth and the benefit of your commitment to growth is ultimately LOVE. LOVE is your reward and asks anyone who has experienced it and they will tell you there is truly nothing greater or more important to human existence then the experiencing of love.
7. No one is doing anything to me.
How many times in our daily language do we use phrases such as “he made me angry” or “ she is getting on my nerves” or “ he really hurt me”? This language is so common that most of us never take a moment to reflect on what those words really mean. To say that someone is making you feel or act in any way is an admission that you don’t have a choice in the matter, which in fact is never the case. Being made in the image of the The Creator guarantees all of us one essential quality that it has- FREEDOM OF CHOICE. It’s what separates us from animals who are dominated by instinct. We as humans who possess animal instincts can grow to manage them and in some cases ignore them all together. You are free and therefore no one is making your feel sad, angry, depressed, shamed, embarrassed, etc. these are simply states that you choose (most of the time unconsciously choose) based upon external stimuli. No one controls you or makes you feel anyway, you are what Invictus says you are “Captain of your ship, master of your fate”. Your freedom is like your sex drive….Use it or loose it!
8. I create my life.
Don’t you? Have you not yet realized that the life that you are living right at this moment is a result of thoughts and choices that you have made in your past? Many of us weren’t raised with this divine understanding thus we often times forfeit our fate and dreams to the whims of the time. From this moment on you must understand and operate from the understanding that you have the power to create your life- no government, economy, political figure, family figure or religion can usurp this power that was divinely placed within you. It’s in your DNA. The only way that others gain power over your life is if you give it to them and often times that’s exactly what we do. Today, from this moment on be conscious of the fact that the life you have does not belong to your parents, friends, anything or anyone else. It’s yours and what you get out of life is exactly what you decided consciously or unconsciously to put in to it.
That’s the H-Soul perspective on Progressive Love!
What are your thoughts?