Article By Lesley | Contributing Writer for JLA
Recently, Jujumama asked the question on Facebook: How would your sex life be different if there were no such thing as STD’s?
I had a great time thinking how fun the world would be without even the thought of STDs… What would be required of us, individually and collectively, to create a world in which STD’s simply do not exist? Is it simply a matter of having everyone consistently use a condom, dental dam, and spermicide/Nonoxynol-9 during sexual activity? These things don’t always work. There HAS to be another way!
Maybe its a matter of totally revamping our thoughts around sex and illness? What if it’s our beliefs, individual and collective, that bring about and maintain the reality of STD’s?
The CDC (Center for Disease Control) indicates that:
The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.
How many of us actually consistently follow the CDC’s guideline for avoiding STDs? The CDC’s recommendation just isn’t realistic for most people in modern society. Human beings are sexual by nature, any solution that requires we deny our natural instinct have proven non-effective. It’s especially unrealistic for people that are polygamous or swingers.
So how do we really practice safe sex? And furthermore, how can we eliminate the existence of STD’s permanently from the planet?
I have some ideas of how we can have our cake and eat it too! But I’m not promising it’s easy. First, a little background on where I’m coming from with all this:
I remember when I was about to lose my virginity. I was terrified at the prospect of catching an STD (not to mention the prospect of becoming pregnant, etc). I figured I was all prepared with condoms, spermicidal foam… you name it, I had it in my purse. Before the sex act, I went to the washroom and tried to insert the foam into my vagina and had no clue how to go about this. My bf, at the time, was also not at all interested in using condoms and I was not at a high enough confidence level to insist on using condoms. Basically, the whole event just started off sterile and ended sterile.
Since I began my sexual life at age 18, I’ve experienced several STD’s or STI’s. In retrospect, I’ve noticed anytime I’ve had an STD or STI, there was a whole lot of drama going on in my life, both internally and externally.
With my second bf, I developed what the doctors call ‘honeymoon cystitis’ or a urinary tract infection. Basically peeing, to me, felt like liquid fire coming through my urethra. It was absolute, insane torture. If you’ve ever seen the movie the Green Mile, where Tom Hanks is in agony whenever he pees, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I drank copious amounts of cranberry juice and took antibiotics. My bf, at the time, had no such issue with peeing. He seemed perfectly fine! He seemed to enjoy the sex, I hated it. Curious.
After a series of several, very short term, sexual relationships, I discovered one night, while showering, that there were warts on my vagina! I started crying. I was freaking out, scared to hell that I might have herpes. And super angry at every guy I had slept with! After being tested, it turned out I had genital warts or HPV (Human Papillomavirus). I also had something called Trichomoniasis. Don’t ask me to pronounce it.
My doctor gave me an antibiotic for the Trichomoniasis and ordered me to go see a gynecologists to have the warts either burned off or frozen off. About two weeks later as I lay with my legs spread open on the gynecologists’ table, she remarked, “Where are the warts? I don’t see anything? There’s nothing for me to remove.” I was shocked too. Where did these things go? The guy I called on the Sexual Health phone line said HPV stays in your system for life and will keep recurring. Well that was over 15 years ago and I haven’t seen any warts in or on my vagina since.
I remember one night when my ex-bf and I were drunk and we were wanting to have sex. I advised him that I have genital warts, therefore, he better think twice about sleeping with me. He said he didn’t care. He KNEW he wasn’t gonna catch it. I was like, “Is this guy crazy or does he already have a host of STD’s himself?” Anyway, we had sex that night we stayed together for the next 11 years and now have 2 sons. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen him suffer from any STD in that entire time we were together and he’s one of the healthiest men I know.
I know, some of you may say that some people are just asymptomatic. But is there more to it than that? Is it a matter of just being asymptomatic or lucky? How deep does the rabbit hole go?
My opinion about STDs:
I really believe that if one feels ashamed of their sexuality, afraid of STD’s, afraid of being talked about negatively behind your back (or to your face) by your bf’s, mother, friends, etc., then sexual disease is very likely to manifest in or on one’s body. It can even stem from using sex to get love, where there was no love to begin with…
The many mysterious appearances and disappearances of my own and other people’s STI’s and STD’s make me think about the real source of these “illnesses”. We’ve all heard of HIV right? HIV is a virus that supposedly destroys one’s immune system, to the point where you can catch just about any disease and die from it. There are 2 other VERY controversial views on this. One being that HIV was a virus created to kill black people. Another, perhaps lesser known theory, is that HIV simply doesn’t exist, or if it does, it really can’t do the damage that is attributed to it. Moreover, it’s the HIV/Aids drugs that really kill people.
At various stages in my life, I have believed in the official story and also in one of the two controversial viewpoints. Currently, I feel that all three viewpoints are missing the mark, ie. they’re all whack! Disease only exists if we collectively accept it. Disease only exists individually, if we are a vibratory match to it, which can stem from negative beliefs or emotions that originate in the individual or (particularly in a child’s case) from one’s karma or ancestry. The Truth of the matter is that when one is in a highly spiritual state of consciousness, disease cannot exist. And if it does appear, it’s stay will be brief/temporary.
Maybe we need to get over the belief that God is using STD’s to punish us for our sexual sins. Or that STDs are a punishment for homosexuality. Or that STD’s are for promiscuous types or those of supposedly low character eg. prostitutes. Maybe, then, we can challenge the incomplete belief that the ONLY way we can protect ourselves from STD’s is by being strictly monogamous and making sure we know our partners whereabouts at all times, or by completely abstaining from sex.
For me, I’m tired of the insanity. I no longer choose to see sex as the harbinger of disease and death. I choose to see sex as a powerful, loving dance of energy that heals us on so many levels. Therefore, I will be wise about who I choose to sleep with. I will use my intuition to direct me to individuals with whom I only experience love and joy as we make love. I will not enter into any sexual experience without the highest of intentions for myself, and my partner(s). In so doing, disease is not, and will not be a part of my reality.
“It is not the germ that causes disease, but the terrain in which the germ is found.”– Louis Pasteur (father of the germ theory), found in his private journal
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1
(I love Psalm 91 btw. It’s a great Psalm to recite each day.)
My interpretation of how these quotes can apply to Safe Sex:
Approaching sexuality as a sacred act and maintaining that awareness throughout, can heal (cancel out the possibility) of many diseases, especially STD’s. This also heals any negative thoughts or emotions about sex that interfere with our wellbeing and Wholeness. As I live and operate in this manner, STD’s simply cannot exist in my reality!
CDC – center for disease control