Being in an Open marriage definitely poses challenges. It is a constant state of growing and learning and pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Then again, all relationships pose challenges. Open relating challenges us to grow beyond insecurity and fear, build strong trust and support, and living truthful to one another. Both open, monogamous, polygamist, or in whatever situation that suits your hearts desire – there will always be opportunities for personal growth.
My partner and I have been Open for 6 months now. Open in the Progressive Love movement means we have shown our genuine, honest selves to each other without fear of rejection or abandonment. Marriage for us is a lifetime commitment, and we are not ok with dropping out of our marriage like almost 60% of our community has.
Open Relating is an option that does not necessarily suit all relationships. Opening your marriage in the midst of discord and trouble will not fix the bond. Thus it becomes quite important that couples develop a strong, harmonious, true way of being in your relationship before attempting to open. Gender-harmonics, as well as coaching has helped our marriage be solid before opening to others. It also has helped the relationships we are in outside our original partners. JujuMama is one of the only love coaching firms that provides this kind of specialized coaching.
Remaining calm and united thru “coming out” to your loved ones is very important as well. Remember nothing is more important than your truth. Live and believe in it. This is true not only if you are letting others know about an Open relationship but also in any type of situation in which you will be allowing others to view and perhaps judge you…The main fear of letting others know your true self after all is judgement. Let that fear of rejection dissipate as you share and expect to be received… do not take the responses of others to your truth personally.
We decided to let our families know about our life because we have nothing to hide. There is no shame in this relationship and we would rather they heard the truth from us than a made up story from someone that saw us out on a date with our significant others. We expected anger and discord in our relationship with our parents after us letting them know. In the beginning we understood that they would try and make sure this is our true choice. Parents are very focused on not allowing our children to explore outside the box too much. When we as children act outside the box, we are viewed as a disappointment, an unstable individual, or someone not happy in the way life is.
My partner and I could not be happier living outside of the box, it has put us outside the conveyor belt and inside our own truths and believes. I would love to keep our whole family outside the factory of society and in a community that supports their inner growth.
Jujumama has given us the tools that have allowed us to live more open to acceptance, to learning from others, and to enjoy every experience bad or good as part of our growth.
Hope this personal story helps you in your Opening to your family should that be your choice…
Open to all with love,
Jhos the Diva