By now, we all have heard on the media about Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife’s interview regarding his plea with her for an Open Marriage…. When people think Open Marriage, automatically they think, sex, corruption and falling out of a relationship.
Here at Jujumama we challenge this belief. We commend Newt Gingrich for attempting to not Drop-out of a marriage in order to be able to Open his heart to his now ex-wife and his girlfriend Collista (at that time)….Kenya K Stevens wrote a letter to Men who love Many Women, about Opening a marriage. Perhaps if he would’ve read this before going to his wife, and even before falling for another woman, she and Callista would be sharing the spotlight as the possible new first ladies. But then again, maybe not as we haven’t fully embraced this kind of honesty in Americana Relating.
Imagine what that would do to the current paradigm of Marriage. Marriage at this point in time is considered ” a SACRED union between two people” A SACRED UNION!…… What is considered sacred? If you are not able to communicate to your partner your true feelings and thoughts about anything that is going on in your life, is that Sacred? If you have to hide your feelings in order not to harm or get harmed in a relationship, is that Sacred? If you are able at any point in a marriage to Divorce your partner, leave a situation that no longer suits your needs, is that Sacred? I DON’T THINK SO………In order to be Sacred in a marriage according to what Sacred is defined as would be to dedicated and devoted yourself to marriage. Devoting yourself to something is being a true loving involved individual, not a victim or a drop out.
Here at Jujumama we have tools to master being in a Sacred marriage, whether you choose to Open your marriage sexually to others, or not, is your choice. For years now Carl and Kenya Stevens have been telling us that in order to have a successful SACRED marriage we have to become truly devoted to being our true-selves in all our relationships. Divorce would be minimal or non existent in a world were Progressive Love paradigms were being used.
You would not drop out of your marriage because your true feelings go against what you can say out loud, there would be no fear or necessity to abandon a relationship because all of a sudden it doesn’t fit your needs. Growth would be the purpose, which is something sorely misunderstood in relationships now a days. We hurry up and get married, have children, a home and feel like our lives should be complete right? Where is the continued growth? Oh that’s right it’s in the challenges we are faced with, the challenges we choose to avoid, because of the possibility of pain and fear of the unknown, and not following the norm. A Progressive Relationship moves couples toward progress, not stagnation based upon societal norms.
I wish Gingrich’s ex- wife would’ve learned about her options in Opening a Marriage before she said NO. According to her she didn’t agree to this because she didn’t believe “this is what marriage is about” She herself was in the shoes of the girlfriend in the “affair” not too long ago, what if Gingrich would have proposed she join her and his 1st wife, I bet if she loved him enough and didn’t cared about what others would think, but about what her heart truly desired, she would still be giving an interview inviting Callitha to join their community of marriage and support their husband in his leadership visions, sounds crazy right??? But so does divorce at a rate of close to 60%!!!! Who knows, she may have attracted a few good men to help her keep cool thru the situation as well. LOL
She stated in the interview she gave MSNBC that GIngrich would tell her he loved her while in bed with the “other woman” WELL of course, One doesn’t stop loving just because one loves someone new, that is some bullish. We are made to feel guilty about loving more when in today’s climate, loving more may just be the remedy to all our ills…
Love is infinite and is in all, we can share it and not compare or try to repair it, It expands and we should expand with it.
Although I do not agree of the way Mr Gingrich went about his affairs, and dropping out of his marriages as soon as things didn’t go the way he wanted them to, I applaud him for asking to expand his love, to step out of the box and try a possibility that may work to keep his marriage. Now if they would only call here for coaching on how to keep their harmonious marriage monogamous or not, we would not have to hear of the pain they have gone thru….
Loving all Openly,
Jhos The DIva

The problem I’m sure with Newt’s and other mens’ concept of “open marriage” is that they want their to be only one open door – theirs, and their wives’ door is to remain shut. That is called “polygyny” as opposed to polyandry for the woman or polyamory for both.
Newt wanted to sneak around away from the cameras on the side while his wife stayed at home keeping the fires burning for him.
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it’s possible to keep an open relationship with your partner in terms of telling him/her about your feelings, thoughts and desires, without getting involved sexually with others. When something unusual creeps in, discuss it as a couple and work it out without bringing others into the equation; that way you can still be married without being messed up
My dear Jhos, marriage is very very SACRED! If you still wonder what makes it sacred, it is because it was originated and established by God himself. So because God is sacred, marriage is sacred, pure and holy – why defile it? I believe u did exchange marriage vows, right? I guess u mentioned God while doing so, right? Just wondering…
Please you people should learn how to clearly differentiate between love and lust; Gringwich was only trying to expand his lustful desires and not love. Our private parts are not meant for sharing; I don’t know if you do share panties, bras and other undies with your friends, siblings, strangers, etc… If u do, that’s nasty and so unhealthy for you. If u don’t, then why will u share ur spouse’s private part with other women? or why should your spouse share urs with other men?
I mean… I don’t really know what’s going on in your minds and I wonder exactly what kind of person will subject him/herself to this “private part sharing” coaching.
There’s more to life than sex…
Yours truly
Dearest Belle,
Thank you so much for leaving such passionate replies to my posts. I truly appreciate your level of honesty.
I hope you are not missing the most important part that most if not ALL of us here at Jujumama are in agreement with the fact that yes you must be OPEN and HONEST with your partner. This is the base of being OPEN. Open does not mean MULTIPLE for me and many that relate in this process. If tomorrow, my husband and I decided to stop relating to others outside of our marriage we would.
You are right Dearest Belle, marriage is SACRED…. Humanity, society, and the laws of men have destroyed this belief. We now live in a place where if your marriage does not suit you, you exchange it, destroy it or dispose of it, as you would a dirty shirt, or a pair of pants you bought at the store that do not fit. God’s only rule, is to love one another unconditionally. God is within each and one of us and there is no wrong in his/her eyes. All that you do serves a purpose and it is growth. Our marriage vows did include and still include GOD in them. We have forsaken others, in the matter that we have decided to not let OTHERS dictate what makes our marriage strong, loving, Godly, or right, other than the two of us. Since at the end of the day, the person you married is right there in front of you.
I believe everything was meant for sharing BElle, EVERYTHING. This concept of MINEISM is what has gotten this world in the condition it is now. Where we are always looking to better the other,instead of growing with them. I would share every piece of clothing, and have actually, with someone that does not have or would like to share. I have no problem or belief that I will attract something dirty, you know why, Because we also believe we attract who and what we are. I believe I am Godly and pure and beautiful and smart, this is why Belle you came into my post, with your beautiful smart words and intelligent points.
There is more to life than sex, but sex is wonderful not shameful. I wonder if you would feel the same way if I was not married and I was sharing my body with many men and or women.
I see you love,
Jhos