This letter is for men who have more than one woman. I realize this may be a great many of you, which is why I write. I want you to know I respect you. I honor you like a king. I appreciate you. I have written other letters for men who are in the early stages, Part One just thinking about being open, or making the transition – Part Two . This one is for men who are already telling truth to his women. This letter is advanced.
I want to talk to you again about what a man is ~ what a woman is to a man. In this way we make progress as a human race… we increase harmony together. Sounds good right? Let’s begin with a brief story:
Last night I was a crying shame. My whole body hurt as one of my life partners beyond my husband told me I could not come to visit him because he had to celebrate the birthday of one of his new lady friends.
I’d written him a letter January 17th after being away from his sweet embrace just 15 days. We’d spent New Years together and I wanted more. So I asked if I could see him. He said yes, in February. Yes my king, I said. I began getting excited about February ~ just a month away.
Weeks passed, he became very distant on the phone. I felt he was covering something up. I asked what he was hiding. I promised not to be angry, whatever it was. He found the courage to share he had acquired another gf. I was happy for him! I wondered why he hadn’t told me earlier. But I asked no deep questions, I didn’t want to shut him off. Things were fine. I was still looking forward to our date in mid-February. We’d decided on February 15th, the day after V Day which he’d spend with his first gf – not this new one, or so I thought.
February 13th came. My partner was now telling me he hadn’t the money to visit. My husband offered to buy his bus ticket, but he said he also had to pay rent thus stay home and work. I accepted this. But it was very difficult for me. What could I do? He did work for a living.
After the date he was supposed to arrive, I became difficult with my husband. I was wanting my other partner, my husband – unhampered – told me to go to him. My partner had invited me to come there as he hadn’t been able to attend our original date. So I called him, merrily, Friday Feb 17th to ask if I could come up – today!
He proceeded to tell me the truth – his new lover had a birthday he’d promised to celebrate that night and weekend. My heart skipped a beat… Was this the real reason he couldn’t come see me on the 15th, beyond lack of money? I became a mess. I was confused and taken aback. He hadn’t communicated this to me until I asked to come see him. Why?
I realized he hadn’t shared this byte of info because he wanted things to go smooth for me, he wanted to keep me in a certain belief bubble. I do this as well, I often lie about small things to keep one of my partners, or children, or parents, in a belief bubble that’s comfortable for them, so I get it. He is my reflection.
I share that story to say this: For men relating to many women, the key to success is to be up front at all times. Please, no belief bubbles because when they pop, she losses trust for you. That’s not to say she SHOULD or MUST lose trust. A truly evolved woman will not. But inevitably, especially if she is not initiated deeply into ‘sharing’, this can cause extended harm.
Belief bubbles are not only dangerous due to the their ability to pop, but they symbolize sad states of affairs in general. When a man can’t be or won’t be honest about the full story, up front and in the beginning, he himself has feelings of guilt. He can’t enjoy himself fully. To live a guilty life is no way to live.
I’d say it’s better to deal with a woman’s emotional reaction to the truth rather than deal with her emotional reaction to lies. Both are tumultuous, but her emotion regarding lies are worse.
Let’s talk about dealing with her emotions, in either case. Comfort her. Tell her you love her. Tell her you apologize that she feels upset. Tell her you will come to make her smile, tickle her with your words and energy when she is angry. Do not be afraid to smile and laugh, do not be afraid to touch her, hug her, bring her in close; ANYTHING to stay above her emotion. Don’t be afraid to stay light when she is heavy. Know this is an emotional storm she is experiencing and she will move past it.
Keep in mind you do not want an emotionless woman, she wouldn’t be a woman at all! Non emotional women are also non orgasmic. Non orgasmic women can’t manifest using sex energy. She can’t be even minded without your even mind to assist. Trust me. She can’t be even tempered unless you are. She will follow your lead. Do not withdraw. Be present. Channel her emotion. Transmute her emotion with her.
If you get upset because she is upset, this does nothing to support the relationship – essentially you have become two women. When she is upset is precisely when you should be even tempered and solid for her. Can you understand this? She doesn’t want to leave you, she doesn’t want to let you go, she doesn’t want to hate you. She needs you desperately. Be sure to assume these things ~ speak back to her emotion with solid loving thoughts, remind her why you want her too. Remind her she is so very important to you.
My partner from the story did this a small bit once I asked him to. Luckily for him I am a woman with vast emotion (sensual power), but also vast training in asking for what I need instead of simply being angry. I realize I create these situations to grow me, that he is never to blame… I am never a victim. So albeit I was pissed, I told him all I needed to feel better was for him to reassure me. So he tried. But when it didn’t work at first to soothe me, he went back to the anger. I realized he felt like a failure, so I really made an attempt to embrace his few words of reassurance more tightly, to let them calm me.
Once calm he said he’d come to make me smile. He told me he misses me and needs me just as much as I need him. This eased my pain. I wanted more. I wanted a deep heart felt apology. I’m working to manifest it… still.
Do you see how easy this could become for us? If we could just get the keys to easing one another, we could succeed at closed relating, open relating, all relating.
Will you try this men? Will you be the sunshine that stays bright even during a rainstorm? Will you be the sunshine that never stops shining?
Please say yes. If you and your partner need support in this, please join our Master Monogamy Course which begins February 22.
If you are a female who wants to discover ways to process life using the feminine powers, join our Feminine Power Course that begins March 4, 2012
We’re in the business of ending all heartbreak. Let’s do this!
Love and Delight as I am naked before you…
Kenya K Stevens