It amazes me how many people continue to attach love to skin color. When you were a baby, the color of someone’s skin did not matter to you. The only thing that mattered was feeling comfortable and loved. Over time, we were taught to separate and judge other people by skin color. In that regard, because of our instilled prejudices, we end up missing opportunities to connect with people from other races and cultures who could teach us things to help us grow. Limiting yourself in this way is doing you a disservice.
Growing up as a Black Male in an urban neighborhood, my peers and I quickly became accustomed to “street codes”. One of those infamous codes was to not get involved with a white girl. You never wanted your family or friends to know you were involved with a white girl because you knew you would be ridiculed. Friends would say things like, “He mess with white girls,” as if it was a dysfunction to be ashamed of.
I clearly remember working a summer job and having a crush on a white, female co-worker. It was obvious that we both liked each other. She asked if she could call me sometime, but there was no way I was going to have a white girl call my home. I couldn’t risk the possibility of being ridiculed. I asked her to meet me in a park instead. Of course she never showed up because she felt like I was ashamed of her. Fearing what other people thought about my choice of relations caused me to miss out on a connection where I could have possibly learned a great lesson; Growth is the main purpose of all connections with other people.
Fast forward to the present, I have finally reached a place where I don’t care about what other people think. I am currently in a relationship with a white woman and this has been the most challenging and rewarding relationship thus far. This is not to say that a relationship with a woman from any other race could not be as rewarding. I am just making the point that I am open to love period and it has nothing to do with skin color. If I thought it did, that would mean that I don’t have a true understanding of what love really is.
Love is a partnership where two people support and encourage one another’s growth. Being blind would not cause you to love anyone any less. Love is not just about what you see. It is more about what you feel. If you allow yourself to love beyond skin color, you open a door of infinite possibilities for you to explore, a deeper love.
Jason Hairston
The following clip is the book trailer for my ebook “Relationship Advice For Women And Men: A Deeper Love” which is now available at the Amazon Kindle store via the following link. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007F2VBYA for $0.99. If you don’t have a Kindle reader you can download the Kindle app at amazon.com for free so you can read it on your PC or Mac.
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