Story By Abiyah Love Elat of Love Healers INC
He showed up at my hotel room…and I began shaking the moment I saw him–anxious because so far my experience with him had been my being challenged to step beyond the boundaries of my own perceived limitations and reveal myself. Being in love with Rakhem Seku presented a new challenge that I desperately wanted to be ready for. I knew instinctively that I had to yield to him and accept my vulnerability so I could be healed. I held on to the knowing that I love him with every ounce of my being…and that he’d reflect that love.
Even before meeting in person, I knew he loved me, but was unsure of the extent. How would that love translate in our budding relationship? How would it affect me? I didn’t know. I had no idea what to expect. I was scared. I had to let that fear go. I needed to take full advantage of what he had come to offer me, and seize the moment.
He came inside and we embraced. He was calm, but I could feel his heart beating against my bosom. I held him close and savored the moment just feeling him. We started talking and I began to grow anxious. I wondered if I looked ok, if he was feeling me like I was feeling him when we touched, or if he wanted to ‘jump my bones’ just as badly as I did in that moment, words unspoken! Yes, I was feeling him and wanted to suck those pouty lips right off of his face. And that’s not all I wanted to suck off–my hormones raging, emotions flaring, and mind racing all at once, I wanted to fall into him immediately, but tried to keep it cool.
I was growing excitedly nervous and beginning to perspire. I was everything but cool, so I finally thought ‘screw it’ and stripped out of my clothes; an impulsive yet brave move for me, as I also have body image issues. I was fully exposed. He calmly and swiftly joined me in nakedness. Next thing I knew, we lay bare, his elegant body aligned with mine as he soothed me with his energy and coached my breathing until the fear left me. Everything else is a little fuzzy for me because I was in a bit of a trance, but for the most part, he had provided an environment…a space of protection and the energy to enable me to be in love, naked, and unashamed/unafraid. The perfect gift, and it was just what I always wanted.
I made the conscious decision to allow myself to be vulnerable this year, having grown weary of feeling less than a woman, less than feminine, and ridiculously ashamed of myself…all my life. You see, I had been unable to have an orgasm through penetration. But what could I do?
Sex for me…pornographic…mechanical…unsatisfying. My husband would tell me that my sex was freakishly incredible when I had been drinking…mostly because under the influence of alcohol, I would not be thinking about anything, just OPEN…loose and fluid. Otherwise, I was a somewhat rigid. Though I always had been told that my sex was good, I always knew I was not at my best. HOW could it be good when I’m not feeling anything?
I’m sure hubby suspected something yet simply thought he was to blame. The fact of the matter is that it’s not the man who is responsible for our pleasure or orgasm…I am.
At any rate, I was able to create the illusion of enjoyment. I would perform the acts…sometimes routinely… For many years I faked orgasm. For even more years, I faked being present. I would typically drift off into a fantasy to get me through the ‘event’. I would go through the motions using technique and application, not truly feeling much of anything other than boredom or frustration. Oh, and I felt guilty…terribly guilty for wanting more and for being so damned difficult to please.
Something was clearly wrong with me, and I felt clueless to fix it. I had been discussing this with Rakhem prior to meeting him. Of course he challenged me to step out of my protective shell in order for our experience uninhibited bliss… I stalled him out a few times, reluctant to come closer, and I know this caused him to question the authenticity of my love for him and devotion to the work. Fact is, I could not truly love him if I was afraid, so I needed to show up and show him that I was for real. I needed to experience being completely open with him and trust the process of love being made between us. I knew that in doing so, I would also need to be vulnerable and fully present in the moment. A unsettling idea, but I released all apprehension the moment he lay me down.
He began showering me with soft lingering kisses and tasted my moistness. This thoroughly relaxed me and I could feel my warm rain slowly coming down. His hands steadily searched my body for my hidden places, traveling along my curves and hills, dwelling in my valley, marking his territory. He found the entry to my deep dark rain forest, and there was stillness, silence. Heat escaping me there, I suddenly felt a chill, my lungs filled with a gust of air and I shuddered in anticipation.
He hovered over me covering me with the warmth of his lean body and without hesitation he ventured in and claimed my personal space. HIs navigation tool well equipped and firm. His invasiveness deliberate and sturdy. I immediately could feel his strong presence shifting things around inside me with the combination of shallow and deep thrusts he so thoroughly supplied me, and it felt absolutely wonderful. I was relieved. Seemed that with each audible indication of delight I made, he would deliver me a sensation more intense than the last so, I began moving my hips to encourage this.
It was getting so good to me, I motioned to pull him closer and opened my eyes to watch what he was doing to me. He caught my eyes in a brief yet intense moment and turned me around to where I could no longer see his face. I grew excited awaiting his next move as he stood behind me. He placed his hand over the swallow of my back at the base of my spine and gently stroked upward. I felt a surge of energy rush to my head. I arched my back and opened wide to receive him. He grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him. He penetrated me deeply, pushing into me further than I have ever been entered…
I got weak, finally fully open.
He fit me like a key to a lock. He ground his body into mine and began stroking and pulsing and digging through me as if clearing space for all this abundance I was feeling. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t do anything but feel all this love pumping into me…flooding my pores and veins, intoxicating me to high levels of pure enjoyment. Filling me with the excitement of his intensity, my body finally gave way to the thrilling sensations I longed to feel all through me–coursing through me like a rush of electricity causing my legs to jerk my body forward with such force I fell onto the mattress unplugging from his charge. I collapsed beneath him, shaking and writhing I wept in sweet release and in total shock.
As he lay with me, holding me in his arms we were both startled by the sudden ring of the hotel room phone—-I KNEW it was my husband! Rakhem raised up to retrieve it, greeted him and handed me the phone very casually. I, puzzled at first, could not fully comprehend what was happening, or why he answered the phone…and further why he had handed me the phone while I was CLEARLY still mid-orgasm. For me, it was a bit of an awkward moment as I tried to pull myself together to speak.
I was partly giggling in amazement and delight, still sobbing at the same time…hysterical, and all I could feel was love. I managed to tell my husband how much I love him…and thanked him over and over.
I was thanking my King for this gift of allowance. I believe he called in that moment because he felt my breakthrough in his soul. We are psychically, physically, emotionally, and soulfully connected in this way. It was a joy to include him in this breakthrough moment, as he was truly very much a part of it, and is a part of me. I felt so good and everything felt so right. I felt complete.
Oh there’s more to this story that I will tell you about at a later time. I just wanted to share a little bit about how incredible my first time was being open and in tantric session with Rakhem Seku. It was something I will always cherish and remember. He is the Adoring Lover, Trusted Friend, and Love Healer who holds my hand tenderly and ushers me into a completely open heart. Though I do the work to heal and reveal…he accepts and allows me to with patience, loving kindness, strength, poise, and grace. I feel empowered, encouraged, and elated being with him… I give thanks.
It was wonderful being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant BEING OPEN. In pushing past my fears and uncertainty, I am reminded that It certainly takes courage to love. Showing up in our relationships authentically means being vulnerable. When we share our vulnerability, we show our strength. I share this with you and others to encourage you to step beyond the fear, pain, and inhibition to release and experience bliss.
It was a challenge to describe in words for you how it felt for me to finally experience such sweet release. His soul spoke to mine and my heart sang SILENTLY.
More to come on my journey to open love.
If you’d like a session with Rakhem Seku, he is a healer waiting and ready to open you to orgasm… he opened me to my first vaginal orgasm… I’d encourage you call him 888.509.5724
Love to you,
Abiyah Love Elat