There was a time when I thought I had to create chaos in a relationship if I felt like me and my current partner was no longer a good fit. I used to think that simply growing apart was not a good enough reason to end a relationship, so I would create an uncomfortable environment to push my partner away. When I think back on how much of a coward I was for playing mind games instead of being open and honest about how I felt, all I can do is shake my head and grin. It seems that most of us would rather face the pain of an illusion then to face the pain of our truth.
It is time for us to face the reality that sometimes relationships change but our respect and support for each other doesn’t have to. No relationship has to be all or nothing. Constant change is a basic universal law. If we choose to embrace this understanding we can allow our expectations to wither away. When this happens, the pain from our perspective leaves right along with it.
Love never leaves it just changes form. When we choose not to face this reality we suffer unnecessarily. Embracing a former lover as a friend should be the new trend. A break up doesn’t have to be a breakdown.
Jason Hairston
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You can hear more about how to deal with a break up in a loving way via the following clip.
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sometimes relationships change but our respect and support for each other doesn’t have to. No relationship has to be all or nothing
Jason,
This line in your article says it all. I share your belief that relationship does not have to be all or nothing, it is not a business. I recently broke up with a boyfriend but to this day we remain very very good friends.
We know that the relationship ended as bf gf but that does not mean we have to turn our backs and move on.
Looking forward to read more of your articles