So a few weeks ago I posted an article about a Cheating man. First off, ‘cheating’ is a stupid word. I mean WTF does that mean? Cheating implies that we are playing a game in the first place. Games are just that! Relationships are not games. Come on!
Let us address the article and comments…
So in summary, this man was talking about how he ‘cheats’ on his wife and will never stop, end of story. He said that he never wanted to be married or domesticated and that this woman had simply leashed him to conform to societal norms as a bi-product of her need to control.
He had gone along willingly because he truly loves his woman and wants to see her happy. And do not get him wrong, he too is ‘happy’. A devoted family man, and provider, but he desires moments ‘out’. It helps him feel OK with things. He thinks it is only fair and that she never has to know…
Read this man’s initial post here…
Come back when you are done to check theses reader comments.
Damia Said:
Its good to hear this from the “horses mouth.” I believe his point of view is very common. I was not upset by it because I sometimes feel the same way. However, being a woman of child bearing years, I still desire the “support” and “security” of a marriage in which to have children. Does having this mean I alienate the man I love or who loves me? Perhaps there should be an annual review or something to determine whether the relationship is still serving our needs. Not sure, just a few thoughts…
JujuMama: I agree Damia! To desire support and security is normal for women. Men love to provide this, but what does security have to do with his penis? Uh Oh – Yes, I went there. Many women have been trained since youth to desire a man love ONLY us. Conditioned by lots of foolish tales called Soap Operas, Sit-Coms, and so forth, this has always been a sticky point - releasing the need to control.
I found in marriage that security and support flow when I allow my man to lead. Women cannot expect men to secure a Independent Minded Diva! LOL! For our first 11 years together, I was boss! Many women do not receive a leading man very well. At year 12 I gave up my female penis and gave him back the pants. Talk about alienation, my man was on the verge of going nuts by the time I was done with him. “Secure me baby, but follow my damned orders…” Confusing.
Once I surrendered, I thought he was going to feel better about the relationship and he did. However, he also began to find more interest in women! What?! I was pissed off! I thought that allowing him to lead would look like getting my way and just allowing him to think he is the boss. When he began leading us based on what he considered to be our best interest, I flipped! Now what does this have to do with a Cheating man?
Dig it…It seems odd that women want a sensitive, homebody of a man and a Gangsta Lovah wrapped into one! Not that it does not exist, but…The harder the man, the more women he will attract – point blank period!
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