Check this lastest juice with Mr. Lacario. I got into so much trouble around this interveiw… I can’t even tell yall. *wink* Check him out at Mr.Locario . com
Leave your comment on the video here or YOUTUBE> Love you! xoxo
This is part four of a video series we did non Integrity Based Relationships (formerly known as open relationships). This is a VERY good video, by the end I was crying and VERY emotional. My husband really broke down loads about how men think. I want you to really focus and enjoy this ten minute adventure in male honesty. FINALLY! I love it!
Part 1,2, and three can be found in the next post… or on our youtube channel
By: Carl Stevens (Rakhem Seku)
If you read the first Anesthesia post you know I put zero detail in it regarding who and how I had the experience with that led me to write the post. I mean zero. I didn’t even imply that I was talking about anyone in Continue reading
Many believe that Jujumama goes hard on the women. Some believe I go hard on the guys. Lesbians think I am hetero centered and I have not heard from any gay men, so I don’t know… but I am in the center of all of that so please get it straight. I go hard on Western Cultural relationships. They do not work – for the most part… and stats prove it. A 60% divorce rate – for the most part. Yes?
Anywhoooo. I have to crack open another double standard tonight. My husband is so wise, he really put all of this into perspective for me… so now I can talk about what he taught me. Western culture is male based and so this one is sort of ‘to be expected’. When I say this, I mean we live in a lovely patriarchal culture where male power is seen as the most relevant form of power… ie talking, action, leadership, negotiation, sacrifice, are seen as the only form of ‘powerful’. But because of this, men get the short end of the stick in many matters of the heart. For instance…
So I have loads of people asking me this question. I mean the emails are off the hook! Everyone wants to know how they can tell if their own relationship is ready to open. An open relationship is one in which both partners are free to have outside partners on an intimate and emotional level.
Here is a little checklist of attributes that I would say serve as prerequisites for this type of love… open love. Now mind you, some relationships will never be ready and that too is OK. This is not for everyone, but what is? LOL! And we highly suggest you secure Love Coaching is you want to walk this path with your partner…
OK – so here is the list. Whether you are in a marriage or a committed relationship or single, the list still applies…
Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin
You know I have to say it – I open to the infinite possibilities of life. I know that, like a Continue reading
So last night I was in the need for a little Tantric Bliss…
I work around the clock as CEO, CFO, Marketing Director, Blogger, Mother, Wet Nurse, Wife, Energy Healer, Tantrica, Manager of 5 Virtual Assistants, Book Distributor, Twitter Queen, Lover, Event Coordinator, Motivational Speaker, Web Developer, Friend, Counselor, PR Director, Publicist, Brand Manager, Laundry Maid, and of course Goddess/DIVA.
So I was like REALLY in need last night. Do ya’ll feel me? LOL!
I desire to be more than loved, I desire to be worshiped!
Now, before you call me blasphemous, hear me out. Human beings – all of us, I dare say – need to be worshiped from time to time.
This entails another human being (or two – whatever ;~) adoring and adorning your body, mind and soul, sending healing vibrations into your soul, speaking strings of kind words into your heart, acknowledging you, sensually, and in every way! Often we think we need to have a main lover or serious partner to do this. But that is old school, old paradigm thought!
LOVE HEALS! How often do you get it in? LOL! Here is how it works…
So a few weeks ago I posted an article about a Cheating man. First off, ‘cheating’ is a stupid word. I mean WTF does that mean? Cheating implies that we are playing a game in the first place. Games are just that! Relationships are not games. Come on!
Let us address the article and comments…
So in summary, this man was talking about how he ‘cheats’ on his wife and will never stop, end of story. He said that he never wanted to be married or domesticated and that this woman had simply leashed him to conform to societal norms as a bi-product of her need to control.
He had gone along willingly because he truly loves his woman and wants to see her happy. And do not get him wrong, he too is ‘happy’. A devoted family man, and provider, but he desires moments ‘out’. It helps him feel OK with things. He thinks it is only fair and that she never has to know…
Read this man’s initial post here…
Come back when you are done to check theses reader comments.
Damia Said:
Its good to hear this from the “horses mouth.” I believe his point of view is very common. I was not upset by it because I sometimes feel the same way. However, being a woman of child bearing years, I still desire the “support” and “security” of a marriage in which to have children. Does having this mean I alienate the man I love or who loves me? Perhaps there should be an annual review or something to determine whether the relationship is still serving our needs. Not sure, just a few thoughts…
JujuMama: I agree Damia! To desire support and security is normal for women. Men love to provide this, but what does security have to do with his penis? Uh Oh – Yes, I went there. Many women have been trained since youth to desire a man love ONLY us. Conditioned by lots of foolish tales called Soap Operas, Sit-Coms, and so forth, this has always been a sticky point - releasing the need to control.
I found in marriage that security and support flow when I allow my man to lead. Women cannot expect men to secure a Independent Minded Diva! LOL! For our first 11 years together, I was boss! Many women do not receive a leading man very well. At year 12 I gave up my female penis and gave him back the pants. Talk about alienation, my man was on the verge of going nuts by the time I was done with him. “Secure me baby, but follow my damned orders…” Confusing.
Once I surrendered, I thought he was going to feel better about the relationship and he did. However, he also began to find more interest in women! What?! I was pissed off! I thought that allowing him to lead would look like getting my way and just allowing him to think he is the boss. When he began leading us based on what he considered to be our best interest, I flipped! Now what does this have to do with a Cheating man?
Dig it…It seems odd that women want a sensitive, homebody of a man and a Gangsta Lovah wrapped into one! Not that it does not exist, but…The harder the man, the more women he will attract – point blank period!
I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can’t help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three.
I love my wife very much. No woman I’ve ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter’s room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family, I also love being a man, and there is a part of me that just can’t handle monogamy.
I see a lot of misinformation in Essence and other black women’s magazines about men and what we want. It’s silly to me, because women don’t know a thing about us. At the same time, they spend all their time talking about us. They always think they have us figured out, that we can be changed, and that they can come up with some magic formula that will control us and make us want to give them all the blissful matrimony they are seeking.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
